IT'S BEEN SO LONG.

Here's the story - my laptop broke (crap I forgot to bring that home...) and so I completely forgot that this blog even existed until I just looked at my twitter page and saw the link.
I'm a silly goose.
Well, I am registered for most of my summer classes (I still have to be overridden into the most important ones, ie the ASL classes, but whatever, can you tell i'm frustrated about that?) anddd classes are going well right now. I'm home for Easter, visiting the family and such, going to hang out with some Alabama people tomorrow in atlanta. I'm excited but nervous at the same time. Hard to explain.
I've been such a loner lately, but I don't mind. I like being by myself sometimes.
However, I've had alot to think about, so alone time was good but sometimes it got frustrating because it forced me to spend time thinking about those things, and actually facing God about them. God really is like a Father to me because I get so nervous about coming to Him with things in my life that I want but think He won't approve, and He's a little more intense than my father here on earth (duh haha) in that yeah, I care what my dad thinks of my decisions and what I want in my life, but to be honest he's hasn't ever really disagreed so much with them to the point of disowning me or giving me ultimatums and all that jazz, so I don't exactly care as much as I probably should.
My Heavenly Father is a tad different, in that I truly care what He thinks and I want to please Him with my life and the choices I make, and that causes me to really think about what I'm doing and completely over-analyze it (which I do alot). And when I over analyze things, I think the worse, and I thought recently that He wouldn't be too happy and I was just afraid to approach Him. But I did, and it was good. I prayed He would give me strength. And you know what happened? I became weak. I became so weak, that I was emotionally, mentally, and physically tired. I needed to see first where my strength came from. It didn't come from me, I was tired all the time and weak and just wanted to sleep. I couldn't focus, and I spaced out so many times. I saw that my strength didn't and couldn't come from me. I couldn't do this alone. God was where my strength came from.
I also read this passage one day when I broke down in the car on the way home from school.

3Trust in the LORD and do good;    dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. ⁴ Take delight in the LORD,    and he will give you the desires of your heart.   trust in him and he will do this: ⁶ He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,    your vindication like the noonday sun.   and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways,    when they carry out their wicked schemes. ⁵ Commit your way to the LORD;  ⁷ Be still before the LORD 

Psalm 37:3-7

I learned that I needed to trust the Lord in my circumstances and dwell in His Word. There it is safe, I don't have to worry about guarding and protecting my heart because He knows it, He loves it, and He won't let anything bad happen to it.

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. 

 Psalm 28:7

And that about brings me to now. 

Boom.

OH and I also have been praying about transferring to the University of Alabama.
PS. I've been to Colorado now. I must live there. AJKSFHKSJFHDBLGNMKBASM